Why Being a Proud S.O.B. = Getting Laid

As animals, our inherent penultimate purpose is to propagate life. Surviving is not top priority, getting laid is. Survival merely increases the chances of achieving that objective. Those who disagree may read about the praying mantis (males get their heads eaten by females after mating) or the black widow (entire body gets eaten) or squids or octopuses or mayflies (males die after mating, while females die after laying eggs). Those who still disagree may please resume playing minecraft.

Now, as social animals, a more cantankerous variable comes into play besides survival, viz, social status. Nature and history both attest that in society, superiority in the system will make you more desirable. Your purpose in life (multiplication) will be exponentially easier to achieve if you belong to a higher social strata. Determinants of higher social strata for us imply jobs, income, subordinates, stability, growth, homes, BMWs, Ferraris, electronics, friends, fans, yada yada. All of this fuels pride. In a normal society minus frauds, fakes, posers and internet contrarians, you will be proud of the things that make (or make you feel that) you belong to a higher social strata.

If you are still with me, we have just established the connection between pride and purpose. If you’re not a hypocrite, and you are proud of something, you probably belong to a higher social strata and thus are more likely to breed than others. I now have a question for you:

What are you proud of?

– Your job? It still lies at the fancy of your superior.

– Your car? That mass produced commercial product that could be reduced to a box in the scrapyard at the mercy of a wrong turn?

– Your house? Something that will take 20 years of your life to pay for and could come tumbling down by single acts of nature/man.

– Your looks? What after 40 when you start sagging from places you never imagined?

Being proud of a perishable is pseudo-pride. Such pride attracts pseudo-individuals (golddiggers).

Be proud of things that nobody can take away from you.

Be proud of the fact that you are a kind and helpful soul. Be proud of the fact that you do not pay heed to social discrimination. Be proud of the fact that you are honest. Be proud of the fact that you stand up for something others tend to turn a blind eye towards. Be proud of the fact that you can make people laugh. Be proud of the fact that you are true to your word.

Nothing can take these away from you. This is true pride. True pride attracts true people.

So if someone wants to sleep with you not because of what you have, but what you are, you know he/she is a keeper. Fortunately we don’t die after a fuck.