It Is Your Choice. But, It’s A Very Poor Choice Of Words.


“My Choice” has been an abused and overused response from “Generation Y” for anything that doesn’t adhere to the conventional standards of behavior which has been set by the earlier generations.  Now when these 2 words are preceded with the words “My Body” then it is bound to ruffle some feathers especially in a conservative society like ours.

Vogue magazine came out with a video under their ‘Vogue Empower’ initiative series named “My Choice” with Deepika Padukone as the protagonist and as many as 98 other women including celebrities from the film industry like Anupama Chopra, Zoya Akhtar, Nimrat Kaur etc. The video aims to bring awareness to the cause of women’s empowerment nationwide. It is ironic to see a fashion magazine and celebrities from an industry who make their money by reinforcing sexist standards of beauty on women preach about women empowerment. The video was probably made with the right intention but the execution of ideas and the statements used turned out to be rhetoric and didn’t drive home the point which I believed the video was supposed to do.

If the execution of the video was poor the reactions and the responses to the video were equally immature. There is no doubt about the fact that some statements in the video like “my choice whether to have sex outside of marriage” do not reflect the true essence of women empowerment at all but just to take a few excerpts out of a video and blowing it out of proportion was not a very mature thing to do. My interpretation of the video’s intended message was that there should not be different guidelines for women and men in the society. A woman should have the choice to wear any kind of clothes she likes; she should have the choice to binge on any food she likes without bothering about her figure; she should have the choice to marry as per her own conditions and whenever she is ready; she should have the choice to love temporarily, or to lust forever. What our society does is denies her that choice.

The angst of the people might be justified if you consider specific statements from the video but as a message in its entirety, it was a pretty strong video. What surprises me is that statements like “having sex outside of marriage” and “to have your baby or not” boils the blood of certain sections of the society but when Vogue Empower had shown a commercial titled “Ladke nahi rote” starring Madhuri Dixit which ends with a shot of a man about to tear up while hitting his wife, there were no reactions from anyone whatsoever. If the bloodied face of the girl being a victim of domestic violence from her husband didn’t instill a chill down your spine but rather an innocuous remark by a movie celebrity did, then I believe we all should take a strong and hard look at ourselves in the mirror. The “My Choice” video was only a logical extension to the “Ladke nahi rote” video where it was further re-iterated that instead of binding women to rules and restrictions, it is necessary for us to educate the men to learn how to respect women and give them equal rights.

It is also the responsibility of women to treat this “equal rights” terminology in the right manner. Yes ladies, “you can’t have your cake and eat it too”. Women shouldn’t use equal rights or special privileges granted to them at several places, according to their own convenience.  In fact, I believe that everyone should be treated as equal. If we can’t resist on judging people then we should judge or evaluate everyone on the same framework. Why can’t a man cry? It is perfectly natural to cry. Why can’t a girl dress as she likes to? It is perfectly natural to groom yourself to look the most delightful. Let’s learn to respect the women in our lives; because lack of doing so has caused all of this malice.

Let’s encourage efforts towards woman empowerment even if the message is not conveyed in the subtlest manner possible. To Vogue, I would say, “It is your choice” but as the Joker from the Dark Knight would say “It’s  a very poor choice of words”.

Why Being a Proud S.O.B. = Getting Laid

As animals, our inherent penultimate purpose is to propagate life. Surviving is not top priority, getting laid is. Survival merely increases the chances of achieving that objective. Those who disagree may read about the praying mantis (males get their heads eaten by females after mating) or the black widow (entire body gets eaten) or squids or octopuses or mayflies (males die after mating, while females die after laying eggs). Those who still disagree may please resume playing minecraft.

Now, as social animals, a more cantankerous variable comes into play besides survival, viz, social status. Nature and history both attest that in society, superiority in the system will make you more desirable. Your purpose in life (multiplication) will be exponentially easier to achieve if you belong to a higher social strata. Determinants of higher social strata for us imply jobs, income, subordinates, stability, growth, homes, BMWs, Ferraris, electronics, friends, fans, yada yada. All of this fuels pride. In a normal society minus frauds, fakes, posers and internet contrarians, you will be proud of the things that make (or make you feel that) you belong to a higher social strata.

If you are still with me, we have just established the connection between pride and purpose. If you’re not a hypocrite, and you are proud of something, you probably belong to a higher social strata and thus are more likely to breed than others. I now have a question for you:

What are you proud of?

– Your job? It still lies at the fancy of your superior.

– Your car? That mass produced commercial product that could be reduced to a box in the scrapyard at the mercy of a wrong turn?

– Your house? Something that will take 20 years of your life to pay for and could come tumbling down by single acts of nature/man.

– Your looks? What after 40 when you start sagging from places you never imagined?

Being proud of a perishable is pseudo-pride. Such pride attracts pseudo-individuals (golddiggers).

Be proud of things that nobody can take away from you.

Be proud of the fact that you are a kind and helpful soul. Be proud of the fact that you do not pay heed to social discrimination. Be proud of the fact that you are honest. Be proud of the fact that you stand up for something others tend to turn a blind eye towards. Be proud of the fact that you can make people laugh. Be proud of the fact that you are true to your word.

Nothing can take these away from you. This is true pride. True pride attracts true people.

So if someone wants to sleep with you not because of what you have, but what you are, you know he/she is a keeper. Fortunately we don’t die after a fuck.