Gold

I’m gold.

I’m too immense
for the world.
So, read me in parts.
I shine through
massive mansions
And rare rich hearts

I exist in dualities.
When I shine through objects,
I’d either speak of a day’s deceit
or a lifetime’s worth of struggle.
I am either loyally loved
Or massively misunderstood.
Damn, how I wish that to be true.

I feign power and poise
with my shimmer and sheen
But dig deeper and you’d find
My fiery love, my searing rage,
My intense joy, my blistering ache,
All gushing to fill the cracks
On my parched desolation.

My lustre comes through
in honest conversations,
in brave confrontations,
in a good night’s sleep,
in that trusting leap.
All that it takes for me to shine
Is a heart and a spine.

My beauty does not lie
in the eyes of the beholder.
Of my fragility and strength
I don’t need an eyewitness.
I hold my own
And I hold enough to
sparkle a leaden lonliness.

I’m gold.
Are you?

White

“You’re newness.”
“You are a light so bright
And oh my god, your potential…”
“You’re one and you’re many,
And the way you hold the rainbow together?”
“Effortlessly light as a feather”
“I pick you cause you fit so well,
My God, you’re essential!”
“You’re the end of every fight,
You’re peace and calmness.”
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I’m White.
I no longer have a voice.
I have been constantly talked over.
With me there’s always a choice,
I’m a contrast,
I’m a freakin’ easy option.
Easy to get, easy to do away with. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
You find someone too loud for your taste?
Add a bit of me for balance
And I’ll fade out the extra
To calm your nerves
To soothe your eyes.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
You met someone too dull?
Keep me on the side
And I’ll make sure they shine
Amidst my dreary lack. ⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
You got too bored
Of the same old thing?
Pick up that brush and paint me
In all the shades of your fantasies. ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
And when you’re done,
do me a favor,
The next time you see me,
Just freakin’ LET. ME. BE.

Grey

I’m grey.
I have a humble beginning.
You’d think I’d go away,
with all my tiny, crumbling pieces,
that you mistake for a light black,
a dark white,
but, you see, I won’t.
I’m here to stay.

You’d find me in the roads you tread
and the buildings you make.
I am in the gravel,
cementing a solid ground
for the wearing walks you must take.
I breathe between the bricks
of your well crafted walls,
beneath the pastels and patterns,
that hide your innocent tricks.

Every now and then,
I appear in the sky,
bringing the world back
to the truth it must accept.
And, you know what?
So should you.

You see, I’m the cloud in your head,
when the whirlwinds won’t stop
picking every ounce of grief and remorse
and won’t stop planting them deep
into your bones and remember
as I rain down from your eyes,
I do not always promise a sunshine after.

I’m this heaviness sitting on your chest,
when you don’t have reasons enough
to keep on with this grey thing
called life-
your strongest bet,
your weakest whim.
Yet,
I am all that will be left of you,
if you don’t die
before you are burnt to ashes.

Black.

I am black, aren’t you?

I am here.
I arrived after the burning,
losing parts of me
I didn’t know existed.
I lost them one by one,
changing and developing
into new, mix shades until
I lost it all, didn’t you?

I’m here, now.
Something tells me I survived
even if the parts of me couldn’t.
And being here, now
I see what I was-
Yellow, red, blue, green,
And now, just black.
I died a little, didn’t you?

I am not there.
But, I remember them.
Maybe one day, I will create
something from this nothingness,
this void, that eats me up;
this lack of void, that finds no release.
Or, may be not. Maybe I won’t.
I accepted myself a little, didn’t you?

I’m not there, yet.
And, maybe I won’t ever be.
So, I’ll just…be here and
make myself a home
to all the darkness,
which speaks of pain, dread and loss,
but, also makes everything else a little brighter.
I’ll go on, won’t you?

Skin

skin

I’m skin. I’m very clever.
I’d change colors and you
wouldn’t even know.

Sometimes, I’ll define you
and your aspirations.
You won’t get it but
I’ll seep in, from the surface
to your mind.
Too dark, too light, too rough,
I’ll never be enough.
And thus, I’ll define you.
Don’t let me.

I’d start off really mellow, soft, fresh
into the bright new world.
Unafraid and ready.

I’ll get bruises and bumps,
I’ll turn blue-black
and all the other shades of
life, misfortune, defeat and dismay.
Without you realizing when,
or knowing what to say,
I’ll become a part of the ravages
of the sun and the struggles and
trying and failing and falling.

I’m a witness
of your moments of weakness
as much as of your strength.

I saw what you did
when no one was looking.
I watched you trying to change me
into who I’m not. I watch you hide me,
but I’ll remember it, and I’ll remind you
of what all I was, what all I can be,
of what you are and what all you can be.
and even as you loathe the sight of me,
even though you’re more,

I am a part of you.
I’ll define you.
This time, let me.

It’s not over.

It won’t be over just like that.
It’s not like turning off a faucet.
Pick up the strands tenderly,
There’s some yellow in there,
Touch her. Roll her over your fingers
for she knew what you did when
you thought she wasn’t looking.
Let her slowly slip away.

Let go of the strands that
they keep handing over to you.
It’s not your fault.
Do not think twice.
Rip them off.
That’s not your burden to carry.
Drown that guilt away.

It will be difficult,
Watching what’s left
of the damage.
“Blue sky, think blue sky.”
Bullshit.
Let not the darkness blind you.

And trust me;
actually, no. Trust the air around you
Trust the yellow that slipped away.
Trust that gut.
Believe in your backbone,
it’s a rarity to have one.
And know, that once it’s over,
You’ll be free.
And please, remember,
It won’t be over like that, still.
It’s not like turning off a faucet.

The balance

It can be more than just black and white, right?
It is so much more
Than the balance,
Than the set patterns,
Than the cycle that keeps moving,
Slowing down where it needn’t,
Pacing on where it shouldn’t.

Life’s much more
Than the monochrome
or the colors,
Than the joy
And the smiling eyes
Watering where they needn’t,
Burning where they shouldn’t.
It is so much more
than a full stop;
And so I put my trust
In the black and the white
In the fire inside.
And I move with the cycle,
Slowing down where I need to
Pacing on where I must.
I take the monochrome
and I take the colors
I hold on to everything that’s inside
And I let go of the balance for a while.

I can be more than just black and white
Or
I can just…be.

India and Disarmament at 2.5 Minutes to Midnight

Anarchist Alexander Berkman in his War Dictionary defined Militarism as: “Christianity in action.” It holds more true today in Indian context where Militarism is Hindutva in action. Much more so in the case of Nuclear Weapons (NW) militarism.  Jan Sangh was calling for having NWs before China, let alone Pakistan had them. The NW fetish in India is a direct outgrowth of Hindu Militarism of Sangh and their predecessors – not of any genuine security concern.

Without dwelling into the important history of the development of Indian nuclear weapons programs and policies and the role of US in it, it would be better to concentrate on most recent events. India has one of the fasted growing nuclear arsenal in the world. It is not the signatory of Non-Proliferation Treaty (NPT) – along with Pakistan and Israel – all Nuclear Weapons States (NWS). Although NPT is rightly criticized for a lot of its shortcoming, one of which is the absence of implementation of Article VI, which obliges all states party to pursue negotiations “in good faith” on effective measures for nuclear disarmament

Under the shadow of the Bomb

Ex-commander of the US Strategic Air Command, General Lee Butler, concluded that we have so far survived the nuclear age “by some combination of skill, luck, and divine intervention, and I suspect the latter in greatest proportion.”  For more information on how close we are to a Nuclear War or (more likely) an accidental trigger see the following links:  Graham T. Allison, Nuclear Terrorism expert; Eric Schlosser, investigative journalist;  Ward Wilson of the Rethinking Nuclear Weapons project.

The Recent Doomsday Clock statement noted “Even as the Iran agreement was hammered out, tensions between the United States and Russia rose to levels reminiscent of the worst periods of the Cold War. Conflict in Ukraine and Syria continued, accompanied by dangerous bluster and brinkmanship, with Turkey, a NATO member, shooting down a Russian warplane involved in Syria, the director of a state-run Russian news agency making statements about turning the United States to radioactive ash, and NATO and Russia repositioning military assets and conducting significant exercises with them. Washington and Moscow continue to adhere to most existing nuclear arms control agreements, but the United States, Russia, and other nuclear weapons countries are engaged in programs to modernize their nuclear arsenals, suggesting that they plan to keep and maintain the readiness of their nuclear weapons for decades, at least—despite their pledges, codified in the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty, to pursue nuclear disarmament.

“The fast pace of technological change makes it incumbent on world leaders to pay attention to the control of emerging science that could become a major threat to humanity.” And situation has only worsen under the Trump administration.

In India’s context the change in rhetoric and signals from policy-makers suggest the people in control of NWs are a reckless bunch as stupid a the Trump administration, if not worse. Talks of moving away from No-First-Strike policy by previous Defense Minister Manohar Parrikar are well known and remarks by Shivshankar Menon, National Security Advisor for UPA 2, confirm that India at anytime can change this policy which could have no foreseeable good effects.  MIT professor Vipin Narang, said in a lecture last month that India could launch a “preemptive first strike if it fears a nuclear attack is imminent. –  a marked reversal of the No-First-Use policy” Also noticing that “relations between India and Pakistan are at lowest” since at least a decade.

In New York

On March 27th in New York City, UN negotiations for a “legally binding instrument to prohibit nuclear weapons” will begin.

From The Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists:

“How did we reach this historic turning point? Ireland, together with Brazil, Egypt, Mexico, New Zealand, and South Africa, first put forward the idea of a nuclear-weapon ban treaty at an NPT meeting in 2014. Such a ban, they said, would operate alongside and in support of the NPT and constitute one of a number of effective measures needed to eliminate nuclear weapons. “A prohibition on nuclear weapons is a logical and moral imperative,” the Irish disarmament ambassador, Patricia O’Brien, has said. “It is also a legal imperative, stemming from Article VI of the NPT.”
In the UN General Assembly last December, it became clear that a great majority of NPT members supported the proposed treaty. They voted overwhelmingly in favor of the resolution establishing the mandate for negotiations. The new treaty, when adopted, will place nuclear weapons on the same legal footing as other weapons of mass destruction, which have long been prohibited under international law. Proponents hope that it will greatly strengthen the global norm against nuclear weapons and spur much-needed action toward their abolition.
The negotiations are a necessary response to the deep concern expressed by all NPT members in 2010 at the “catastrophic humanitarian consequences” that would result from any use of nuclear weapons. In the final document of that year’s NPT review conference, they affirmed the need “to make special efforts to establish the necessary framework to achieve and maintain a world without nuclear weapons.” After decades of paralysis in multilateral nuclear disarmament efforts, the ban negotiations are a major opportunity for NPT states to contribute toward full implementation of Article VI.
Of course, some NPT members vehemently oppose the initiative, recognizing that it will fundamentally challenge the perception that their reliance on nuclear weapons is legitimate. Last October, the United States “strongly encourage[d]” its NATO allies to vote against the start of negotiations. “In addition, if negotiations do commence, we ask allies and partners to refrain from joining them,” the US government said in a paper explaining how the ban would make it more difficult for NATO members to cooperate in preparations for nuclear war.
It is likely that several US allies will obediently comply with this request. Australia, for example, said on March 2 that it plans to boycott the talks, as it “would not be able to negotiate in good faith.” But others will form an independent view. For example, the Netherlands, which hosts US nuclear weapons on its soil, said on February 27 that it “has chosen to take part constructively, with an open mind and without being naïve.” This is the responsible course of action for any nation wishing to uphold the NPT and prevent its further disintegration.
The greatest threat to the NPT today comes not from the negotiation of a ban treaty—as some nations have disingenuously claimed—but rather from the continued failure of the nuclear weapon states, and many of their allies, to take seriously their disarmament obligations. The NPT is not a licence for certain nations to retain nuclear weapons forevermore, or for others to indefinitely claim the “protection” of an ally’s nuclear weapons.
Recent threats of a new nuclear arms race and ongoing programs to replace old nuclear warheads with ever-deadlier ones cause much damage to the NPT, as does the ill-considered boycott of the forthcoming UN negotiations. At a moment of great global uncertainty and instability, negotiating a ban on the very worst weapons of mass destruction is more crucial and urgent than ever. States should strive to achieve the most robust and effective treaty possible.”

As India is not a NPT member this has no direct bearing on India’s arsenal. But if something fruitful comes out of these negotiations that would change the global atmosphere of concern surrounding NWs significantly. These negotiations aside Indian Anarchists and other concern citizens should come together and eliminate this monster of nuclear weapons. This, a colossal task in itself which will be much more austere under this administration.

In India, Nuclear Disarmament is not only an issue of nation, international security and, above all, of human survival; but is also deeply tied in with the fight against the Right and the ruling class in general. It would be a grave mistake to see it as something separate from other Indian social justice issues. And anyone willing to employ themself in this task should be prepared for “Sedition”. Which Berkman in the Dictionary calls “The proof of Tyranny.”

Crime – the Privilege of the State

Whether the State is called monarchy or republic, crime will always be necessary to maintain and assure its triumph. This crime will no doubt change its direction and object, but its nature will remain the same. It will always be the forced and abiding violation of justice and of honesty – for the good of the State.  – Mikhail Bakunin

ajitdowal

In 1939, few days before initiating the invasion of Poland, Hitler gave a speech to his to military commanders where asked them “to kill without pity or mercy all men, women and children” and added “only this way can we obtain the living space we want.” He assured them that there will be no retribution and that they will enjoy complete impunity.  This month marks the seventy-seventh year of the invasion.

In 2010, the current National Security Adviser for the Modi administration, Ajit Doval gave a lecture in Hyderabad on Kashmir and described the Kashmir issue as ” the product of the ‘dysfunctional mindset’ of three parties: India, Pakistan and the Kashmiri separatists.” and strongly maintained that there is no “political” issue in Kashmir – a position which is shared by Dovish military and intelligence officials as well.

After presenting his distorted and fantastical analysis of Kashmir’s history and the ritualistic display of jingoism: “we are great fighters, we have a great religion …that teaches us self-sacrifice…”  he advised the then policy makers that: “Don’t overreact, don’t give in, don’t follow appeasement, it [2010 protests] will pass off. It looks big in the midst of it, they cannot sustain it beyond a point and even if they do there is a price that they have to pay.” And “In the game of power the ultimate justice lies with the one who is strong”.

The Doval doctrine has since been applied and the result has been 89 dead civilian, attack on hospitals and ambulances by armed forced, tens of thousands injured, hundreds permanently physically disabled and writers, activists arbitrarily arrested. The goal of this tactic is, as security officers tell us, to retake control over South Kashmir and its streets.

State violence = defense. A tautology.

The organs of state and its lapdogs – the media, tell us that the actions of Indian armed forces are of defensive nature, that they are keeping peace and the unruly protestors are disturbing the peace. The Germans invaded Poland to protect themselves from foreign aggression and to save Germans, just like every other acts of wholesale murder in human history been committed for some noble goal and to protect oneself from aggression of the enemy.

If one accepts this premise that the state has the right to put down revolts and protests, to gain control inside their national boundary by any means then, they are also accepting that Pakistan was justified in committing genocide within its national borders. But I do not believe there are many who will hold such a view. And if the people who attacked Uri Army headquarters and killed 18 individuals for political, strategic or economic advantages are terrorists then, the institution that has deliberately killed 89 people and injured hundreds, within last few months alone, for its ideological, economic and strategic advantages is also a terrorist institution.

There Is No Such Thing As Bad Publicity Except Your Own Obituary

Tanmay Bhat-Sachin Lata Civil War

There is a thin line that separates comedy and insensitivity. Tanmay Bhat might not have been able to keep himself balanced in that line and we wouldn’t blame him for that considering his weight 😛

Yes, I did indulge in body shaming here. But, who cares? He did take part in a roast where almost every joke on him was about his weight. I am sure he doesn’t mind if I make a lighthearted banter about his weight. You felt it wasn’t funny? It doesn’t matter to me. I have freedom of speech. If I can’t make people laugh through proper jokes, I would use profanity, body shaming etc. Humour gives me a facade of moral invisibility to statements “made in jest”. You have no right to object to it. If you are objecting, you are violating my freedom of speech.

It has been a considerable amount of time since I have been in the news. I desperately need some attention. How can I achieve that without any hard work? Well, let me mock some personality who is treated as an icon and has a fan following nothing short of being called as worshipers. I will make those icons use cuss words, I will make them use obscene gestures, that will create a shock quotient among the viewing public. Being irreverent is cool these days and I will be disrespectful to the maximum extent possible. That will give me my 15 minutes of fame. It will be the perfect cannon fodder for the shares, likes and comments in social media and the ideal way to get some cheap laughs.

But, I am a comedian. Aren’t I supposed to genuinely make people laugh? Yeah, but why bother? If I can use second-rate mimicry and third-rate writing coupled with some cuss words and be trending in the news, why should I make the effort to make people laugh through some good old humour? I will just make some Game of Thrones references and show my followers how chic and urbane I am.

The followers of the celebrities I will make a mockery of, will raise a great hue and cry, some political parties will get the cue of free publicity and file FIR’s against me or verbally or physically threaten me and this act of stupidity by political parties will completely overshadow the fact that I humiliated and mocked some of the so-called living legends. The media will have its share of the pie as well where news anchors will shout at the top of their voices about how political parties are ignoring pressing issues like drought and yet ironically have an hour-long debate analyzing the repercussions of my actions.

But, won’t I lose followers? Nah, I don’t think so. The westernized India, who believe that it is cool to say anything about anyone would still follow me because most of them are impressionable and would do anything to look “cool” among their peers. The other India, or the “traditional India”, in any case doesn’t follow me and in any case who gives two hoots about them, they are old and about to die soon anyways.

As for me, I will get my time in the limelight till the next breaking news hits the country and whenever I feel the need for attention again I know what the tried and tested formula is. Also, as they say “There is no such thing as bad publicity except your own obituary.”